My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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