well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
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He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize