I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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