New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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