this boner is exhausting
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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