you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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