i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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