I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you didnt know i had herpes?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize