Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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