Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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