i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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