So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize