pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize