Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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