I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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