So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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