i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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