the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize