apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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