I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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