it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize