Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize