i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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