Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize