In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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