We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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