Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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