you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize