I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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