And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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