hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize