??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
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i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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