I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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