Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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