We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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