she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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