i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
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Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
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I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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