i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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