Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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