His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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