dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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