Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize