Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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