This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize