The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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