I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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