Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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