I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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