I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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