in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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